Listen - Day Seventy-Four

"But when He (Jesus) saw the multitudes, He was moved with compassion for them, because they were weary and scattered, like sheep having no shepherd."  Matt 9:36 NKJV

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."  Matt 11:28-29 NIV

I have been challenged this month of March so far. The stress encompasses some part of my whole life. A bit a here, a bit more there and then some physical, mental, spiritual and emotional bits too. When I tried to introduce my problems, needs, character flaws to Jesus -- as my Jesus Calling devotional by Sarah Young suggests -- I felt enpowered by handing off these struggles to God, to Jesus, knowing He is in control. Unfortunately I got caught up in an unseen tornado. Not sure how either. I felt like Dorothy riding in the house watching parts of her life swirl and circle faster and faster until she landed in Oz. I was good and truly lost.

I am still lost.

But I know God loves me. I know if I can quiet my heart, my mind from the chaos of this world, this life, that I will HEAR His loving voice whispering encouragement. If I can tune out the anxiety and listen for His still small voice. I will hear the voice of my shepherd.

This year has been interesting thus far with My One Word: Listen. I have heard His voice and felt the surety of His direction. Fleeting. Too fleeting. Yet I know the fault is mine. I need to practice more.

And I know this isn't a test or contest or a race.

God loves me no matter what. I am His and He is mine.

I yearn for the time when I can see His face. I want to be home with Him.

But until that day comes, I will seek to be as close to Him as I can.

Join me?

Listen - Day Sixty

.....from my journal 02/18/2014

Lord, let me be senstive to your Blessed Spirit speaking to me, but protected from the world and the chaos of anxiety, troubles, the weight of it....

Child, that is where you go wrong--you separate from your heart--you harden your heart--to protect it from feeling the pain of those around you....and the devil wins when you separate from your heart! You see possible evil in those I want you to reach out to or help, instead of seeing possible Jesus. Put Jesus on each face you see, speak with, offer to pray for, help, all the time.  See my Son in them.  Feel their pain. Carry their burdens. It will be divided.  I am  with you!


....from another journal entry

Who am I?
I am the beloved child of God, a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a co-worker.  I value the relationships in my life above my job, my possessions, my influence. My value is based on how well I believe I fulfill these life roles. If I fail at them, then I am a failure.  Even as the beloved of God -- I place requirements in action, in words, in deeds, laws, being.

Can I accept....can I accept that I am Beloved without any requirements at all? Can I accept that I am His and He is mine? Can I accept that Truth? Can I accept His free Grace and His Love for who I am?  Can I believe in Him and Believe Him?  I believe He died, He rose and He lives so that I may be saved and spend eternity in heaven with Him. I believe the gift is free. No strings attached.

How do I live like I believe it?

Listen - Day Forty Seven

"Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." John 8:32 NIV

     This is the lesson I have been processing since last weekend.  I want to live in the Promised Land.  Free.  Free to be the me God created, Jesus saved, and the Blessed Spirit guides. This scripture verse says the TRUTH will set you free. 

     And what is the truth? 

     Jesus said... I am the way, the truth and the life. John 14:6 NIV  

     So Jesus is truth.  And the truth (Jesus!) will set you free. And I want to be free.  My conclusion. My grand summation after journaling and reading scriptures and going over my notes from last weekend is...Jesus is the way into the Promised Land of freedom. Simply put: I just want to love Jesus. I just want to follow Him. So I have been praying, then listening. Listening with my ears, and my heart, and my spirit. 

     Jesus wants me to love. "A new command I give you: love one another."

     I have been trying to be more loving, to more people. Love them like I think Jesus would love them.

     To do that I had to surrender myself to Him.

     Oh this is not easy ....not easy at all.

     But I can tell you in the last few days, I have felt this sense of freedom welling up in me as I followed the Blessed Spirit's promptings to send prayers, to ask about a person's day, to cookie brownies, to be present and go and do when what I wanted was a nap, to be selfish.  Yet I pressed on with the Spirit's help and was a freer me. I can't explain it, but even though there was more required of me, there was more of Jesus to share. 

     I won't ever get this completely right. I know that. I hope to make Jesus smile though. But listening is key and it is still my One Word for this year. Follow Jesus with me into the grandest adventure we could ever have. Please! Blessings to all.

Listen - Day Forty - IF: Gathering

.......this weekend I was privileged to be one of the many women who were streaming the simulcast from Austin, Texas, the IF:Gathering.  Powerful. Obedient.  The women who formed this idea, this dream into a live event.  Their obedience is powerful. Their enthusiam and love for Jesus was evident from the prayers they each offered at the beginning to the unity they exhibited at the end.  
     Yes, I heard a number of women speak.   I can't name them all but I give them credit for this blog entry. Jennie Allen, Angie Smith, Christine Caine, Jen Hatmaker, Ann Voskamp, Rebekah Lyons, Shelley Giglio, Tara Jenkins....and more....
     I also heard God calling me to receive their message. I listened. So many women today give and give and give, without ever taking the time to refresh and renew ourselves.  The giving isn't bad, it's just that our race is a marathon and we women need to learn to pace ourselves. We need time to BE WITH JESUS. In His word, in His presence, in the time we set aside to be still and know that He is God...we can be renewed. 
     So, hands opened to receive, heart opened to receive, I listened. I leaned in and surrendered to His ministering.  I heard that "Jesus is better" than anything we can think of.  Of course I knew that but say this aloud: Jesus is better than the most perfect spouse we can imagine. Jesus is better than that house in that neighborhood that we covet. Jesus is better than your dream job, or your dream portfolio, or your retirement travel plans.  So why do we spend our time and energy working to get the one, when The One is better?
     I also heard about Wild Grace. Don't you love that term?
     And "keeping my eyes above the waves" and walking on water.
       These are just the notes the first hour!
     So what did God want me to hear?  That I tuned my spiritual ears to listen for His Sweet Spirit in me to point out? 
     "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free." (Gal 5:1 NIV) It's time for me to cross from the desert wilderness into the freedom of the Promised Land. Thank you Christine Caine for that message!
     So, I will be listening eagerly(I am addicted to my morning listening time now) to hear what direction God, Jesus and the Blessed Spirit have for me.  Blessings to you.

Listen - Day Thirty

      I'd like to continue with the How to Listen to God from John E Batterson. On Day Nineteen I shared how he starts by telling truths about God. He ended that list with number 9... Anyone can be in touch with God, anywhere and at any time, if the conditions are obeyed. 
    The conditions are: to be quiet and still, to listen, to be honest about every thought that comes, to test the thoughts to be sure that they come from God, to obey.
     During the past 10 days I have been trying this out, practicing a bit on a small scale, similar to what I have written before. Getting quiet and trying to quiet my thoughts, my body, my mind and listen for the Holy Spirit, for God, for Jesus. 
     I am amazed....and not sure why...but utterly thankful at how personal God is. He always responds to an honest seeker.  Take this for what it's worth to you. To me...it's everything.  I sat with pen in hand and open journal, and a alarm clock set for 10 minutes.  Why you ask?  Jesus Calling author Sarah Young listened for God this way. That day I wrote: Henri Nouwen, my own God Speaking journal, Brighter than sun, Glory of Lord, I am who I am.
     I started rereading Spiritual Direction by Henri Nouwen, I also started rereading Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert--- she used a God speaking journal to talk to and listen to God. Our pastor preached a sermon on "I am who I am" saying God always has been and always will be, God is eternal. And I watched a Beth Moore lesson on James yesterday where she talks about the Shekinah of God, the Glory of God is Jesus, brighter than sun.
     How cool is that? 
     I am underlining and taking notes as I read these books and study scripture. At the heart, at my heart, I want Jesus. He knows that!     
     God is listening to me, and I am listening to God. And it is so personal to me. Try listening yourself. Get quiet and open yourself up--open your heart, your mind, your ears, your spirit to the Holy Spirit who lives within us all. Blessings!    

Listen - Twenty

“In solitude and silent communion with God in prayer, I have to kneel before the Father, just as the prodigal son did upon his return, and put my ear against his chest and listen, without interruption, to the heartbeat of God."       

"If we take the time to be still, we will be led to an  inner  place, a place within us where God has chosen to dwell, a place where we are held safe in the embrace of the all-loving One who calls us by name.” 

     Both quotes are taken from Henri Nouwen's book  Spiritual Direction: Wisdom for the Long Walk of Faith

     Thought provoking, yes?
     That image….myself kneeling beside a seated God with my head pressed to his chest….listening.  Me seated at His feet, listening.  Me propped up in bed, eyes closed, clearing my thoughts initially and then just breathing in Jesus and breathing out Jesus…..listening.  
     And being led inside our heart to the place where the Blessed Spirit lives. To sit and  have a cup of tea and a friendly conversation about our day, our life and his desires for the life he has gifted us with.
     Thought provoking, yes? What we can learn from listening to God.  

Listen - Nineteen

.....I have mentioned that when my calendar reminder pops up with the word Listen, I try to stop and read my scripture verses, but sometimes I do a internet search. This time I searched "How to Listen to God" and got the best write up I have ever read. Absolutely. It is from John E. Batterson and written in the 1930's. This man's claim to fame, besides this wonderful How to, is being a personal friend of Dr. Bob, the co-founder of A.A.! 

   I love how he starts, by listing fundamental points about God

    1. God is alive. He always has been and He always will be.
    2. God knows everything.
    3. God can do anything.
    4. God can be everywhere - all at the same time.
    5. God is invisible, but GOD IS HERE.  He is with you now, He is beside you. He surrounds you. He is in you right now. He is in your heart.
    6. God cares very much for you. He is interested in you. He has a plan for your life. He has an answer for every need and problem you face.
    7. God will tell you all you need to know. He will not always tell you all that you want to know.
    8. God will help you do anything that He asks you to do.
    9. Anyone can be in touch with God, anywhere and at any time, if the conditions are obeyed.

    Just read those again. I mean I know this stuff, but I never thought to use it as a beginning, an intro into my time of prayer and dialogue with God. Yet, why not? It re-establishes quite firmly and truthfully who God is.  He can reach me, teach me, and guide me, as long as I am willing to: "Be still and quiet, to listen, to be honest about every thought that comes, to test the thoughts to make sure they come from God, and to obey",  also from John E. Batterson.
    There is more, but this is a good start for today. Basic fundamental truths about God and an attitude of heart, mind and body that we must assume in order to listen well and hear. More to come. Blessings!  
    

Listen - Day Eighteen

“A man prayed, and at first he thought that prayer was talking. But he became more and more quiet until in the end he realized prayer is listening.” -Soren Kierkegaard, Danish philosopher and writer



      I continue to be amazed at how God answers my desire to listen. I have my calendar pop-ups randomly scattered through the weeks and months ahead. When one pops up, I stop and read my scripture verses or maybe do a web search for the word listen. That's how I found the quote above.

    I am so intrigued by the idea of having a prayer dialogue with my heavenly Father. I love to listen to my earthly dad tell a story...or tell anything actually. He is a natural storyteller and can turn even the most mundane conversation into an adventure with his creativity.  Remembering that puts me in the frame of mind to be still, submit my requests and prayers, and then wait, relaxed, for His response. It will take practice, due diligence, and effort on my part. 

    Yet I know with certainty that He is listening to me. He is encouraging my efforts. He longs to speak with me since I am His child. He wants to give guidance and wisdom. That keeps me going on this journey through this earthly life. I hope it does you too. Blessings! 

Listen - Day Thirteen

.....It's been a rough weekend plus...and looking back it appears to be from my lack of listening. But not only my lack of listening, but my lack of asking for direction.  He is always available to me, to you, to each of us. The training to stop, ask, listen for response needs to be LEARNED.  I acted from my own strength, from my own sense of need to help others. That may not have been the best thing.  God knows best.  I need to listen to Him, for Him. That is where I will start tomorrow...again.  Sometimes God has a better idea of how to help, or not, and I need to follow Him.  Thanks for listening to me.

Listen - Day Eleven

"God speaks in the silence of the heart. Listening is the beginning of prayer." Mother Teresa

     ....listening is the beginning of prayer...Not our words, but in our silence God speaks to us. Not in our lists of needs, hopes, dreams, but in the quietness of our very heart, God whispers His hopes, His dreams, and His needs for us.

        What does God want for you?

     Listening requires us to stop our thoughts, our bodies and focus those thoughts and this body on our Creator.  When we stop the chaos for those few precious moments to bring ourselves into his presence, into His light, then we begin to truly enter ourselves into prayer.

        I believe that once we learn the art of prayer, then we can learn how to pray without ceasing as Paul advised us all to do.  Then our very lives becomes a living prayer, a continuous dialouge with our Father God, Savior Jesus and the Blessed Spirit who lives within.

     Yet it all starts with the listening. Be blessed.

Listen - Day Eight

     I sat in the pre-dawn hour wrapped in a quilt and in my thoughts. The quiet enveloped me in peace and I imagined I sat at the feet of Jesus. I listened for His words, for His heart, and there was no struggle, no strain.
   This was a different kind of listening. It was restful, renewing.  Not like the active listening to others.
   I set the alarm for six minutes and closed my eyes. I sipped my coffee and turned my attention to Jesus.  A song ran through my head..."take this world, and give me Jesus..."  What did He want to tell me? What did I need to hear?   
   I am often amazed at the sweetness Jesus shows in doing small things just for me. Things no one else would realize were important or special to me except Jesus. The stillness, my slow awakening, my time with Him before the cares of the day rush in are just one example.
    The alarm went off and I sighed deeply, desperate to stay in that cocoon of listening. I had done better, not alot better, but still better today in centering myself near Him.  I want to try again tomorrow. I look forward to trying again tomorrow. God never turns away an honest seeker.  What are you seeking? What answers are you waiting for? What do you need to hear Jesus whisper to your heart? Take the time and sit with Jesus. Listen. 

Listen - Day Five

The Lord came and stood there, calling as at the other times, “Samuel! Samuel!”

    Then Samuel said, “Speak, for your servant is listening.” 1 Samuel 3:10 NIV

 

    Speak Lord.....for I am....listening.  I have found myself attempting to drink my coffee in the morning and simply be still, be quiet. Quiet my thoughts, quiet my emotions, my heart, my body, and just slip into the presence of God. To sit at His feet like Mary and absorb His words.  My best time the past 5 days has been 3 minutes. I was able to sit without interruption, without turmoil, without to do lists, or looking at the clock--for only 3 minutes.  My goal will be to improve that dramactically as the days progress. 

     Sarah Young in Jesus Calling's Introduction tells how she purposely sat and listened for God with pen or pencil and paper at hand.  How she followed the example of anonymous authors of a devotional she had carried through 2 global-type moves. Her book was created from those times of listening to Jesus and writing what He impressed upon her heart.

     I want that. For Jesus to press His words into my heart. To sit quietly and dialogue with Jesus as with my best friend.  To hear His wisdom and guidance about the day ahead. To listen to the love, to hear the encouragement, to share the laughter, to rest in His arms and listen to His heart.  He wants me to listen to Him. He wants to hear about my hopes and dreams and concerns. 

     Do you want to hear Jesus? To listen to His still small voice?  To hear the love and feel the kindness? Even if the words are those of correction? I do. I pray for both of us to be able to sit quiet for 5 minutes with just Jesus and for us to hear Him clearly as friends who speak face to face.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cross references:

1. 1 Samuel 3:10 : Ex 3:4

Day Four - Listen

I practiced listening alot today.

I listened at the grocery store buying groceries for my sister's 50th birthday party.

I listened to my mom and dad as we washed veggies, and rolled ham, and sliced rolls.

I listened to party guests talk about Susan, their own 50th birthday or the desire to not turn 50(in other words, not get OLD), various football games, children, being 'surprise' pregnant after last one born 5 years ago, different memories of our shared histories, places where our lives converged and then separated for a while only to re-converge again, and I heard love.

Are you surprised? I was. I am. But for a brief moment I heard the underlying love thread that ran through most of these conversations. Not that "oh you are the love of my life" kind of dialogue, but the "can you get the ice chest and run to store for 2 bags of ice after I hook up your IV antibiotics" kind of love.  The love that stands the test of the day to day, month to year to decade kind of test.  The love that seeped out between words of laughter and teasing.  Sometimes the words were actually said, but mostly you had to lsiten for it.

The love that was shared in commiserating a fallen favorite team or player.  The love heard in correcting a child gently but firmly. The love heard in the asking of "how are you" and then listening for the answer. The love heard in the validation of a life choice that might appear difficult to us but worked for the other person. The love heard in "you wait hear while the ham is sliced and I'll be right back" ......so much love.

Yet by listening, I was allowed a glimpse of that love that binds all of us one to another. In God's family. Such a gift to us all.  If you listen, can you hear the love?  Our world needs to hear it. Our world needs to recognize that we can make a difference by listening for the love and responding in love. I pray you hear the love and it blesses you as it has blessed me.

Day Three - Listen

                      In order to listen I must stop talking! 
     That was the lesson from today. And not only stop talking, but stop forming a reply to whatever the person is saying to me. If my mind is engaged with that, then it isn't really listening. This lesson applies to the person in front of me, the one on the phone, and even the Blessed Spirit whispering to my heart to listen to the man who has come to spray the building where I work.
     Listening attentively, means actively listening, seeing, really hearing the voice, the needs, the sharing of heart to heart. How can I do that if I want to top their story --good or bad -- with one of my own?  Hearing the Spirit also requires that attention plus obedience.  The Spirit doesn't mind questions and concerns, but at the end of the day obedience is what is necessary.
     I am excited about the adventure of listening to those I interact with on a daily basis but especially excited about what the Blessed Spirit teaches me.
     Have you picked a word of your own?  Have you prayerfully asked God to help you? I pray that all those who read these words will be blessed with Jesus' love and guidance during this year.   

Listen - Day Two

"....to pay attention to, to be alert for a sound...like music or a whisper"

"....to hear something with thoughtful attention; to give careful consideration"

LISTEN

 

I have heard the voices of co-workers making deals, telling New Year's stories, and asking for help.

 

I have heard the voice of family asking for prayer, saying thank you and ' I love you'.

 

I have listened for God's quiet whisper as my calendar reminder popped up to remind me to LISTEN. 

 

I have listened for His direction through the day, but not consistently yet.

 

I will need the reminder pop ups and the sticky notes on my computer through the year.

 

Pray for me to Listen well.

 

And I pray for you to hear Him too.

Listen -- My One Word for 2014

“Now then, my children, listen to me; blessed are those who keep my ways. Listen to my instruction and be wise; do not disregard it."  Proverbs 8:32-33 NIV

“So, my dear friends, listen carefully;
    those who embrace these my ways are most blessed.
Mark a life of discipline and live wisely;
    don’t squander your precious life.
Blessed the man, blessed the woman, who listens to me,
    awake and ready for me each morning,
    alert and responsive as I start my day’s work."  Proverbs 8:32-34 The Message

Hello Dear Friends & Family,

The verse above is the one I chose to go with My One Word for this year.
   Listen.
Following a book written by Mike Ashcraft and RachaL Olson, who wrote that though it is hard to change, if we focus on one attribute that we have prayed about and asked God to lead us to, a word that represents what we want to be for Christ or a word that allows others to see Christ in us, then we have a much better chance of success.
   Last year my word was Peace. Looking back at the year I can see how I grew and changed and embraced the Peace that is beyond understanding.  Not perfectly by any means, but as the year progressed so did I. I was better able to handle trials and challenges and required less down time to regroup and get my center back. My foundation in my sweet Jesus grew more solid, and I called upon the Lord God Almighty to go into days of challenges ahead of me. He was my Father Protector, Jesus was my Peace, and my Blessed Teacher --the Holy Spirit -- led my through her still quiet voice.
   And so I begin this year with Listen. My goal to listen attentively to the guidance of the Holy Spirit. To hear God's hopes and directions for serving him and others. To listen without ceasing for my Jesus. And specifically to listen as I begin the rewriting process of 30 Nights with God...the book He has called me to write for Him.
   Do you need a focus for this year? A word to guide and direct or inspire you? The words are as endless as we are individual....for our God is a master craftsman and has an imagination the size of the universe. Seek Him, choose a word, and begin a year long journey to get closer to God. Peace to us all.
Amen.

Friends or God-Sent Angels

Friends or God-Sent Angels

“A friend loves at all times, And a brother (or sister) is born for adversity.” Proverbs 17:17 NKJV

     Divorce is hard on friendships—individuals and couple friends. It was like a bomb was set off in their midst and the fallout debris went for miles and miles. Looking back I see how my divorce had reverberations in their lives too. Divorce just sucks, and no one within the realm of the divorcing couple escapes some wounds.

     This chapter though is about the friends who were the God-sent angels in my life. I had four friends who truly loved at all times, even when I was particularly unlovable. These, in their love and God-prompted actions, managed to nurse, nurture, protect and guide me through the first couple years.
    Without these four I would have crawled into my bed and never left the house again. Except for Erin. The mother instinct in me was stronger than the desire to hide and grieve. For her I could still manage to function. That was a God-given strength.
    Somehow these four very different human beings were assigned by God to be my friends. One of them was just for this time and I would not have made it without her misery-loves-company personality. But when I began to recover -- God separated us. I see the wisdom in it now, but at the time it hurt greatly. The other three are still with me. Amazing given the trials I put them through. I know their love is true. One of them became my husband, Alan. One has been my friend for 36 years….since we were sixteen years old. The last, but not least, has been my friend for 23 years.
    They stuck with me—even when it wasn’t really me. They arranged birthday celebrations, met me for dinner or a movie, took me to church, invited me to Bible studies, and even helped me plan adventures. They helped me adjust to a New normal. They helped rebuild my self-esteem. I WAS worth knowing and loving. I WAS worth spending time with. I WAS worthy to be a King’s daughter. Because ultimately they pointed me to whom I am in Jesus. Savior, brother, friend, in Him I AM always worthy.

Anger -- Day Five

 “And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:30-32 NIV

     It was twenty-six months after my ex moved out of the house when my daughter told me, “It’s too hard to live angry all the time and I’m tired of it.” Can you relate? She’d tried to live that way and she didn’t like who she became. She’d lost friends because of it; lost time, sleep, pieces of her that she was now trying to find or restore.

     I could relate. I knew where she was, but had decided earlier in this season of divorce that I did not want that lifestyle. I did not want to become a bitter old woman, nor a man hater, even though there were too many days to count when I did hate anything male. I gradually recovered from that during my second year. I knew intellectually and spiritually that it was wrong and pointless and self-destructive.

     At some point in time, forgiveness will need to be considered, prayed about and chosen.

     It is a choice you will have to make for yourself, your relationships, and your relationship with God, and your future. Unforgiveness eats away at you like acid. It destroys, ages and taints your entire life. I am speaking from my experience.

     Forgiveness does not excuse the details, the pain, the betrayal, nor the shattered hopes and dreams. Forgiveness recognizes that a wrong was done. Forgiveness recognizes that none of us is perfect, and all of us are very human. Flawed and sinful. Forgiveness recognizes that Christ gave us, you and me, what we did not deserve nor could ever earn. Through Christ you can eventually and prayerfully forgive your ex-spouse.

Practical steps: Make a list of what was taken from you by the divorce. Take the time to write everything you can think of: security, trust, financial support, a partner and anything else that comes to mind. Now realize that they are never going to give these things back to you. This is hard, I know. Cry or yell as long as you want, and then go burn this piece of paper and say, “I forgive you.” Then reach for Jesus’ hand, turn around and walk away. When memories surface remember this act and remember it freed you from a life of bitterness. 

Your thoughts: _______________________________________________

   ^“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

Philippians 4:13 NKJV

^“And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins." Mark 11:25 NIV

Anger - Day Four

^“A fool gives full vent to his anger,
       but a wise man keeps himself under control.”

Proverbs 29:11 NIV

     We have all done things in anger, said things in anger that we wished later we could have taken back. That is what this verse is talking about. We are not always wise though and especially in the middle of a divorce, wisdom is hard to find. So we must lean on those smarter than us, those less emotional than us for guidance. A calm sure loving voice at the other end of the telephone. Without good friends, who knows the trouble I would have gotten into. I remember one night I was so angry I kept driving in circles around the city. I was too keyed up to go home to an empty house. I needed an outlet for my anger and I was looking for trouble.
           God lead me to a church parking lot. He provided pen and paper to vent my anger on instead of myself or someone else. I wrote the letter to my ex telling him how furious I was, how betrayed I felt, how unfair he had been, how low of a man I thought he was and more. By the time I finished I was exhausted. I drove myself home, took a hot shower and fell into bed. I gave the letter to my counselor.

Practical steps: God will provide a safe place to vent if you seek Him, and sometimes even if you do not seek Him. When physical activity isn’t available, then pen and paper are the next best thing. Cry out to God because we are His and He cares for us.

Your thoughts: _________________________________________________

 ^“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”

1 Peter 5:7 NIV

Anger- Day Three

 ^“A gentle answer turns away wrath,
       but a harsh word stirs up anger.”  Proverbs 15:1 NIV

Adversaries. Where once a couple had stood, now stood opponents. How do you battle without losing sight of the goal-- to end the war? To reach a peace treaty with as little blood shed as possible? You need a cool calm spirit. You need a gentle spirit. You need the Holy Spirit. During the first year of my divorce I felt the voice of the Spirit whisper to me “Be Still” and “Trust me.” Repeatedly. Only those words.

When David and I would meet to discuss dividing money, belongings, I needed that calm Spirit, that guiding influence. It would have been too easy to accuse, judge, argue, threaten and curse at him. And it would have stirred up his “anger” as the verse above says. Then we would have needed lawyers to talk for us, although sometimes they are necessary because of various legal matters.

Those whispers into my spirit were like invisible cloaks I could slip on and disappear for awhile. It allowed me to be present, yet not to overreact or act emotionally until later in the safety of my bed or with a friend to protect me. I did not always feel God meet me there, but you and I both know that our feelings are tricky and can’t be trusted. The valley of divorce makes steps of faith feel like you are moving five hundred pound weights attached to your feet. Yet those steps are needed if we are going to cross this valley without becoming bitter old crones.

Practical steps: Memorize a verse or two about the Holy Spirit that you can use to calm yourself when meeting with the soon-to-be ex spouse. Or write them on an index card you can pull out of your pocket or purse at anytime. 

Your thoughts: ________________________________________________

^“But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.” John 14:26 NIV