Ramblings this Easter Monday.....

.....over the last couple of days I have looked up my favorite authors to see what if anything they had to say about fear.  Henri Nouwen I quoted in the last post. Max Lucado wrote a whole book "Fearless" with many Biblical quotes. "Fear creates a form of spiritual amnesia. It dulls our miracle memory. It makes us forget what Jesus has done and how good God is." (pg 10)  The further into the storm  and the longer the battle the weaker our memory is of who our God really is.  Again this makes it important to develop a daily practice of prayer and listening.  Because as John Eldredge says "We are born into a world at war." The history of the world is a history of the struggle between Good and Evil.  And we each have a role to play, a side to choose, a life that matters toward the final outcome.  That's why we love to root for the underdog, to cheer our favorite teams to victory, why we love The Lord of the Rings trilogy, and Star Wars, and Narnia, and even James Bond. We want the good guys to win. We want John Wayne to catch the bad guy, lock him up and kiss the girl.

Still, reading these various snippets from wonderful writers did not move me as much as the article from Beth Moore.  In her book "So Long Insecurity" she tells the story of how God helped her overcome one of her particular fears.  She was praying that God would protect her from this worst thing imaginable---her husband leaving her for a younger prettier woman. It had happened to a couple of their friends. When God asked her what if it did happen? What would she do, how would she feel /react? And Beth describes her pain, her betrayal, her anger and her sorrow and grief beyond measure. And then what, God wanted to know? "Then I'd go facedown before God just as I have a hundred other hard times, accept His grace and mercy, believe Him to take up my cause and work it together for good, and then I would get up and choose to live."

I started this entry talking about how short our memories are when in the middle of trials. Beth's article reminded me that I have to see to the other side of the valley.  I know I get tunnel vision in the midst of daily challenges and frustrations.  I can only see this thing that is casuing me grief/pain/worry.  But if I would look back and see how far I have come, how far God has brought me/carriedme/guided me and then looked into the future knowing God knows already and goes ahead of me into the day or week or test or situation or whatever, then I can choose to get up and live too. I need to remember God has been faithful. In my life I have suffered and survived. I have lost two sisters and both sets of grandparents. I have survived a divorce. I have survived the betrayal of a friend whom I would have died to save. Yet here I stand..still..intact...more generous....more understanding...in some ways weaker, but wiser...battling the fear of letting God down in this battle for good.  I want to be courageous for Him, for myself, and for all those I might help along the way. I hope and pray my obedience counts on the good side!  Be Blessed!